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monologue by ~certifiedfool:iconcertifiedfool:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


Different voices I kept on hearing
Slowly eating me up alive
Condescending thoughts scorn my soul

Tricked, trapped, outraged
The awakening of emotions engaged

I fell, I was torn, destroyed
Slowly, slowly, slowly

Circling my mind
Pain, torment, suffering

Unfaithful, enraged, broken
For in my thoughts dissipates

Insipid, plain, blank
I am now undefined

Enigmatic world
Cynical mind
Circling, circling, circling

The music, the essence, the delirium
I see no body fully…
©2006-2009 ~certifiedfool
:iconcertifiedfool:

Author's Comments

I don't really konw why I wrote this...it just came out form no where..

Comments


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:iconperseus-stoned:
~perseus-stoned Oct 21, 2006, 9:45:06 AM
Nice writing; pretty hard (at least for me) to understand what you're trying to get across in those last 5 lines though. I loved your consistent syllables and when you talked about the voices eating you alive- great personification with a good intro hook.
:iconcertifiedfool:
~certifiedfool Oct 21, 2006, 8:05:23 PM
it is hard for me to explain...it just is...thanks for the comments though...it is deeply appreciated

--
|I'd rather be loved than to be respected. Respect is ephemeral. I respect myself-- I don't need other people to respect me|
:iconperseus-stoned:
~perseus-stoned Oct 22, 2006, 8:32:37 AM
Well the feel I get from it is:

It starts out that the person is very confused. He's unsure what to do and tries to run over what he can do in his head, but it doesn't help. It goes on to talk about how the person steadily becomes more confused and finally just completely broken. Its after that I'm not sure how I'd go about translating it anymore.

Any of this correct? Or just entirely open to interpretation regardless?
:iconcertifiedfool:
~certifiedfool Oct 22, 2006, 9:40:22 AM
yeah it is right...and about that last five lines, well, it is just trying to say how it left him in the present as in now, how he sees the world, himself and others...(the music, the essence, the delirium, -- that line tells about some other story--look it up in my gallery, if you want, then maybe it will add up some clarity)...and I must say that you are very good in interpreting poems...

--
|I'd rather be loved than to be respected. Respect is ephemeral. I respect myself-- I don't need other people to respect me|
:iconperseus-stoned:
~perseus-stoned Oct 22, 2006, 3:35:07 PM
Thanks, but I sort of see a bit of my own self in this, so it's mostly just like looking in a cracked mirror... the reflection is there, its just a little hard to see at first.

I'm starting to see your 5 lines, thanks for the clarity. I'll ponder on this some more.
:iconcheeseweasle:
~cheeseweasle Oct 22, 2006, 7:53:11 PM
thanks for faving this one john, you are the only one with a cracked mirror, except i think mine was more dirty than cracked but, i read it a second time and the dirt was gone.
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